Actor Shobna, who starred Coronation Street for more than a decade spoke about love and life as part of in-depth interview

Shobna says they ‘never had a word’ to describe how they felt when growing up(Image: Getty Images)

Coronation Street star Shobna Gulati has revealed that they now identify as non-binary.

The actor, who played Sunita Alahan for 12 years in the soap, said they had felt that way all their life, but it was only more recently that they had realised there was a word to describe it. They also told about being currently in love but open to date male or females in the future. “I’ve become more happy describing myself as a person. What do people call it now? Non binary. So, I suppose that’s who I am,” Shobna said. “I’ve never had a word for it, but I’ve learnt from our younger generation what that might look like in terms of a word, because I know what it feels like in terms of being me.”

A non-binary person is someone who does not identify as exclusively male or female. They may feel that their gender is fluid and can change, or they may identify as both male and female or neither. On instagram, Shobna lists their preferred pronouns as ‘she/they’.

Speaking to Kaye Adams on her How to be 60 podcast out tomorrow Shobna, 58, explained: “All the way through my life I’ve never had the words for that and I’ve never managed to explain that and I suppose my immediate family have not really thought about it.

“They’ve just thought: ‘Shobna is either extremely feminine or extremely masculine.’ Because I was just accepted as a person who fell out of the tree and equally the person who put on all this make up and did a dance.”

Shobna said things changed when they chatted to a sound engineer when they were working together on the same show.

“The sound person said to me that they were non-binary and I said: ‘what is that?’ So, then they explained and I thought – ‘well, I feel like that, but I didn’t ever have that vocabulary.’

“They said that they saw themselves as a person and that the gender – the he or the she – wasn’t important to who they are. And I thought: ‘that’s all I’ve ever thought.’

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“And I think now I’m free to say it out loud. I think people around me have accepted who I am for a long time without any explanation, but I suppose when I’m asked now, I’ll say it.”

Shobna, who landed her TV break in the late 1990s, playing Anita in the comedy series Dinnerladies alongside Victoria Wood, said they had felt a pressure to be feminine when they were growing up.

They told Kaye Adams: “My father would say things like: ‘oh you haven’t dressed up today,’ or ‘you haven’t washed your hair,’ or ‘your hair looks limp, you can’t go out like that.’ I’d say: ‘why not?’

“He’d make comments along the way – I walk like a boy. Lots of people tell me I walk like a boy and I do. I just don’t know quite where it all comes from, it’s just who I am and I’m happy in that now.”

Shobna found fame in 2001 in Corrie alongside Jimmy Harkishin who played Dev(Image: ITV)

Shobna found fame in 2001 when they were cast as Coronation Street shop girl Sunita. Their character went on to marry corner shop owner Dev Alahan, gave birth to twins Aadi and Asha and featured in a host of dramatic storylines. But Shobna revealed that they never felt secure on the cobbles and that soap bosses regularly tried to kill off her character.

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“Keeping your job is relentless,” Shobna said.

“It’s not a given that once you’re on a programme like that you stay. They were forever trying to kill me and eventually they did.”

Lancashire-born Shobna tied the knot with architect Anshu Srivastava in a Hindu ceremony when they were 23. The marriage lasted four years and the following year they became a single mum giving birth to a son Akshay, now 30.

They were a single mum when they joined Coronation Street and said they believed that life in the limelight had cost the chance of having more children, as well as it having a detrimental impact on their love life.

The actress, who dated Emmerdale actor Gary Turner for four years while on the cobbles, explained: “I did have relationships, but then they were very public.

“It was sad for me, because I didn’t feel that I got enough time to have a relationship and to have more children and have a private life, because it was so un-private and so exposed.

“But it’s done now and I haven’t had any more children. I didn’t get that opportunity, which sometimes I feel sad about, or I didn’t meet the right people because of everything that was out there.”

Shobna said they were currently in love and told the How to be 60 podcast: ‘I think I’ve loved this person all my life.” But they said in future they would happily date someone regardless of whether they were male or female.

Shobna explained: “That is also something I’m looking at – what that means to me. So yes, I would go for a person absolutely, regardless of their gender.”

Shobna has had a successful career since leaving Coronation Street, most recently appearing in the sitcom Hullraisers and playing Vera’s boss Chief Superintendent Khalon in the final two episodes of Vera earlier this year.

Shobna starred alongside the late great Victoria Wood in Dinnerladies(Image: PA)

They credited letting her hair go naturally grey four years ago with helping open up more acting roles, but revealed it had cost them a boyfriend who was critical of the decision.

“Men have been quite aggressively anti my grey hair,” Shobna said. “I was seeing somebody and they said: ‘your sister looks younger than you because she’s got black hair.’

“She’s actually older than me. I said: ‘is that to do with her hair?’ Apparently yes. I dropped him immediately, because I just thought – well, he already has these views about me growing older. My worth as a woman became diminished, because obviously when you’re younger you’re more valuable.

“I just kept thinking about that and I thought – I don’t want to surround myself with anybody who thinks age is not valuable, because I think age is so valuable.”

Shobna said family members had mixed feelings about the decision. “There was a lot of comment from the family on the WhatsApp all around the world of different generations.

“It was the older generation of my family who have been dying their hair and asked me why I’d stopped. I suppose because it’s such a tradition to have this long dark brown or black flowing locks. It was mainly the women who said: ‘you will look older.’

“What’s wrong with looking older. I think it’s distinguished. For me it’s not about the aesthetic, it’s about the realisation that I am growing older.

“I found also in my work that I wasn’t getting parts that reflected my age, because I was going up for mums. It’s helped a lot; I’ve even been a grandma and I really enjoyed it.

“I’m quite happy with the ageing process. I’m all for what’s going on in my mind. Ok, everything else is hitting the ground or sagging or whatever, but I’m not really bothered anymore.”

Shobna also told the How to be 60 podcast that they were looking forward to reaching the big 6-0 herself in two years’ time. “I’m hopeful of that growth emotionally, where there’s none of the noise from my youth or my midlife,” Shobna explained.“I want that next journey where there’s no noise. Kids have grown, my parents have died, it’s a new beginning. I don’t want to be anything but who I am anymore.”